I have been working from home for a few months now and I honestly really enjoy it. It allows me the time to focus on my work and during breaks, I get to spend it with my family either hanging out at home or going for walks around our beautiful neighbourhood.

I would like to say that I was proactive every single day and I had an excellent routine. That I completed all my work, housework, payed full attention to everyone, fit in all my exercise…

But it didn’t quite happen like that. Well, not every day.

There were days I’d run around trying to fit in a shower, feeding my one year old her breakfast, getting dressed, putting on some makeup, putting on the laundry and making a mental note to turn on the dryer, eating my own breakfast, brushing my teeth while sometimes holding my daughter, taking her to daycare a few times per week, and then rushing back to get to my computer, plopping myself down on my chair and starting my team meeting each morning. Phew.

And then there were other days when things worked really well and I was able to calmly do everything I had to get done to get prepared for the day.

I feel like I had to go through a cycle.

At the end of some days I felt frustrated that I didn’t achieve all that I had I wanted to. I consider myself someone who needs to be productive each day. Since having a child I value every single second I have available even more. Just see my post on how I spent my year of maternity leave here. Not getting something done would really bother me. And I’m talking getting myself down, thinking I’m not achieving anything, ever, and yes, losing sleep.

Proactive mindset

In order to make a start at being proactive while working from home, I made the decision at the end of that frustrating day that I needed to do that thing I didn’t get around to doing. The annoyance I felt gave me a drive to take action the next day. Sometimes I had to put things in place like asking for help to have additional time to do the things I wanted done.

Other times I would really have to force myself to stop procrastinating and just start on getting something done! I took the approach that would work best for me in that moment. It’s ok to adapt to whatever style you need when you need it.

Achievable goals

I also had to do a bit of a reality check and make sure my goals were achievable. I do have a tendency to want to do a little too many things in the hours that are available in a day. This would lead to nothing but more frustration!

Be fair to yourself and make those daily goals achievable – especially if there is a big task you are working towards. Those small wins each day will get you there, I promise!

Be organised – plan ahead and write it down in your diary

Sometimes I was too busy to plan and then when the time came for action, I would think to myself “ok, I have time now, what do I do first?”. I would get so overwhelmed with the tasks I had to do I wouldn’t know where to start! You can probably tell where this would lead…

Once I started writing down all the tasks I needed to do in my backlog, I would take out a couple of achievable things from that list into my To Do tasks for the next day. This helped me better achieve the things I needed to.

Be flexible

Other times things don’t go to plan and you need to change what you had set out to do. Being able to adapt and change my schedule for the rest of the day was key to still being productive. By having my backlog of things I need to do would let me easily take things from this list and alter my to do list to my new schedule.

Productivity train begins

Once I completed one of the things I wanted to, I felt calm as well as energised to take on the next job. Then my productivity cycle began and I was in the right headspace to keep going and ticking off those things on my list! The more I did, the better I felt and on went this cycle.

Don’t be hard on yourself

My key takeaway is not to be too harsh on yourself for not getting everything done that you had planned to. Things happen and your plans may need to change and sometimes nothing happens yet you still didn’t achieve all you had planned. Its ok.

Its fine to go through the cycle of feeling frustrated. It means it will give you that poke to do more tomorrow. When you do more, you feel energised to do even more. That positive reinforcement will drive you into that proactiveness that you were after.

And yes, there will be days when you again get frustrated and don’t achieve all that you wanted to achieve. This can come even after you have had a set of great days. Just relax. Tomorrow is another day. The key is to start doing…doing anything…to break you out of that cycle and onto the road of being proactive again.

Do remember it is also ok to take some time off. This is something that I still find hard doing myself. Even more so now that the line between when work ends and my personal life begins can be blurred quite easily when working from home. Personally, I have tried to relax myself in this space by taking time out to go for walks, sitting down to have my tea or coffee, or listening to a meditation. As you might be able to tell I’m a big introvert.

Remember, nothing stays the same forever. If you are working from home, enjoy the opportunity because you never know what might happen next week. Especially in current times! Things could change at any moment, even if you can’t see it yet. The past has gone and the future isn’t here yet. Enjoy the moment you are in now.

Please share any tips that you have about being proactive while working from home below!

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One of the people I reached out to was a mentor of mine. I had known her for years and we had kept in touch whenever she was in town. I finally decided to ask the question about whether we could work together ‘now’ as I could finally dedicate time to it (working together was always something we both hoped to do in the future).

She started me on one project first. I was so excited and grateful that I didn’t negotiate the pay (even though she said I could). I had just had a baby maybe five months prior, I saw myself as new to consulting and somehow both these things convinced me that I didn’t need to negotiate.

I think this was a mistake. I should have taken into account all my prior experience which was essential to undertaking the consulting work. I didn’t set the tone for what I expected as reasonable and I felt that things just went downward from there.

As a few months passed and we were well into the project, we started having initial conversations about future work ahead. She made reference to my low rate and that in the future I would be able to charge the client directly to earn a higher rate, more in line with that of a consultant. I knew for a fact that what she was charging me out for was a 150% difference in what I was actually being paid.

But as the next few months came along, the recommendation of charging clients directly was no longer mentioned as conversations about future work started coming up. In fact, a couple of the additional projects apparently wouldn’t involve work that was as difficult as what I was doing for the initial project, meaning I would be paid less than what I was earning.

In one of her posts, @carlii_lyon spoke about scanning her body ‘after every interaction and experience’ and if something didn’t feel right for her its because it wasn’t.

I felt as though every conversation that we had turned from positive and motivating to ‘hang on, that doesn’t sound quite right’.

I would go to ‘business development’ meetings, I would do additional writing here and there to finish a section of documentation off, or add a little more somewhere to support a recommendation. I completed a few more interviews with clients and wrote up my notes and added my analysis to the final report as well.

It was all done for free. Over time, all this added up to days upon days of additional work activities that I did and wasn’t being paid for.

I tried to ignore those thoughts within me that gave me the feeling that things weren’t quite right about continuing to work with my mentor. Afterall, she was my mentor! They are not supposed to let you down, right!? I trusted her and thought she would be fair.

I reached out to other friends in the consulting space to talk about my experiences. They heard me out but all basically told me the same thing – that this arrangement was not fair and that I should no longer proceed. I felt devastated and even afraid at letting her down by saying ‘no’ to what she was proposing (even the agreement sent through looked a little iffy…ok a lot).

But I knew deep down that my values were not in line to what she was offering.

So I summoned up the courage and did the following:

• Explained my expectations of employment conditions and my rates. There is a whole other backstory here to how she wanted to pay me which I won’t go into just now.
• Backed up what I was asking for with proof of my prior experience – and referees if required.
• That I was happy to take on any work (no matter the difficulty) wherever she needed me to be but that my rates were my rates and perhaps she would just be willing to consider me for the more intense work like I had been doing. Note, I say wherever because one of the points she said to support her reasoning for paying me less was because I could work from home and be with my daughter more. But the thing is she didn’t have an office anyway (I was willing to work on site at client offices if that meant being paid more).

I said that I totally understand if this did not suit her at the moment and that there were no hard feelings (I really didn’t want to be in any bad books with her, especially not with my mentor…well, former mentor). She still hasn’t come back to me That was a while ago now.

It was so disappointing to go through this, but I feel happy in my response. I know I did the right thing standing up for myself. It has given me the confidence to do it again when required! I knew if I settled now I would forever be walked over. By her and by others. Although this wasn’t the best outcome, I learnt so so much.

Have you had a similar experience?

Feel free to share in the comments below or contact me directly.

I hope this insight has helped you in a similar situation of your own.

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Some of the advice you receive will come from a place of genuine care for you and your future, and some of it might not come from such a trustworthy place.

What is the best way to handle and navigate this advice that you haven’t really asked for?

I’ll let you know what has worked for me in the past.

I hear what it is they have to say and do my best to understand where they are coming from. I would recommend trying to understand their own background and experience and similar situations that they might have gone through. This might give you insight into why they are saying what they are saying. It could help you determine whether whether it might work for you.

Once I’ve heard them out, I thank them for their time. Regardless of their position at work, their relationship to me, whether they are genuine or not, I remain polite and neutral in my response.

I tend not to challenge what they are saying, even if I don’t agree with it. If I think that something doesn’t sound quite right, I’ll ask further questions to better understand the point they are trying to make. But that is the extent to which I might challenge what they are saying. Its not worth getting into a disagreement.

I then go away to think about how I will approach whatever situation I might be in, on my own. I do consider what they have said, especially if the advice has come from someone I look up to and respect. But ultimately I know what is right for me and my personal circumstances.

Don’t feel pressured to go down a path that many have gone down. Regardless of whether it is something that someone you trust has suggested. Although managing career advice can be tricky, at the end of the day, it is up to you to choose your direction.

For further insights on managing professional relationships, check out the following articles here.

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At around about the four or five month mark, I found myself feeling more confident with being able to take care of my baby daughter (and being able to leave the house on my own with her!) and yet I found myself still being frustrated, thinking I wasn’t ‘achieving’ anything.

I know this is not true – I had a happy little girl to prove I was in fact achieving a lot!

I didn’t quite know how to overcome this frustration so I started to again do all the things that I enjoyed doing. I read, I started being creative again through my writing and art, I started exercising which I hadn’t done for a long time. I was starting to feel better because I was doing something for myself.

I love being productive with my time and I am passionate about learning, and I found I was still very passionate about my career. Perhaps even more so because I wanted to provide the best life I could for my new little family.

So I asked a friend of mine who is a consultant if I could do a project with her, and that’s where it began! A project came up within a month and so began my endeavours into the consulting world. It was an interesting project with a chance to make a real impact on a lot of people. I felt really motivated and enthusiastic…and productive!

I am now taking chances and really changing how I work. Projects are leading to other projects and I have a fantastic chance of growing my own business in this space.

Because I am able to do things I enjoy and I am feeling productive, I am happier and I’m therefore able to be more relaxed, calm and more patient with my daughter. She picks up on how I am feeling very easily so the more relaxed I have been the more relaxed she is.

I have also noticed that I really value every single second and I don’t like to waste even one minute now. I have a plan of how I’d like to spend each morning she is napping to ensure I keep up this positive feeling going. I admit not every day goes to plan but I know not every day will be the same and I can catch up on ‘mummy’ time either later that day, the next day, or the day after that.

I hope that your maternity year gradually becomes easier too as you progress through the months. I know it is difficult and I hope some of my learnings are able to inspire you to take care of your self more too. Allow yourself the time to do what you enjoy. You owe it to yourself and your family

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You might be lucky enough to work somewhere that is keen on pushing you and seeing you grow your breadth of skills in tougher and higher level roles, but sometimes you might be faced with superiors who will always see you (at least for a long time) as the graduate they hired within the past year or two.

I don’t think there is a simple solution other than saying it’s all about putting in the time and hard work consistently to build up your brand. Prove you have what it takes to be a member of the team. Don’t consider any task too small to show you can take it on and knock it out of the park.

Sometimes you might have to make a move to another organisation to be recognised for the value you can offer.

From my own experience, I found it best to seek a role outside of my organisation so I could take a significant leap forward in my career. I had continued to work hard in my final year graduate placement and had built my knowledge, skills and reputation as someone reliable who could ‘do the job’. I built excellent relationships with my teammates and bosses.

When the time came for me to apply for a permanent role, my manager offered me a role with a very decent pay rise, one and a half times more than what I had been earning as a grad.

To minimise my risk of not finding a job, I had also been applying to other roles. At the same time as receiving the offer from my manager, I was offered another role that offered different experience (which I admit was not as exciting) and it was double the pay.

It was an extremely hard decision to make. I remember feeling upset and overwhelmed at what I should do. One of the things I did think about was how I would be perceived in both workplaces. I knew that if I stayed where I was, I would still be the ‘grad’ in their eyes but if I were to move into this new organisation, I would have the chance to be seen in an established role with a clean slate, at that level of competence for the role (even if I wasn’t so confident in it at first!).

I let my manager know about the offer I had received and I asked whether it was at all possible to match the offer so I could remain in the organisation. He told me it unfortunately wasn’t possible at that time.

So I decided to take the role in the new organisation.

I knew it was the right thing to do in the end because about a year later, the team advertised the role I was originally offered. I saw the pay on the advert and it was the same as the role I had accepted in my new organisation.

It was a shame I was not recognised for the value I could bring at the time. I would have loved to continue working for the same organisation. Even though it didn’t feel it at the time, taking the risk in a new organisation where I didn’t know anyone was the right choice in the end. It was my way of breaking the barrier to no longer be perceived as a graduate.

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The best thing you can do for yourself is keep going. Stay positive and keep searching and applying for roles, keep asking for feedback and advice on how to improve for that next application or interview. Don’t stop, no matter how disheartening it is at first hearing negative news. I find taking action is the best thing I can do when I feel like it’s the last thing I want to do!

Also take a moment to look back on how far you have come and the achievements you have made along the way. You will see that you can achieve what you are after.

I think about how I have grown from the first day I started working. I have developed my job application and interview techniques by becoming more self-aware and making improvements along the way. It can be hard to take the time to notice where improvements can be made. Sometimes it is the last thing you want to do! But taking that extra effort to understand how you could approach a similar situation differently next time could be just the key. I look back on all the jobs I have succeeded in getting, all the things I have learnt and the people I have gotten to know and I wouldn’t change any of it. Even the bad days. Each rejection led me to the roles I was successful in landing and the fantastic experience I gained as a result.

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As I reflect back on how far I have come I can honestly say I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve worked very hard to get where I am and I am not only thankful for all the amazing opportunities and colleagues I have met, but also grateful for the tough times I’ve experienced as well. They have all helped shape me – every bit of advice, every rejection, every project, every mistake, every job offer…

Now, in my early thirties, I feel like my career is starting to take exciting leaps forward in ways that I had always hoped and worked very hard for. I was able to establish myself and build a strong foundation in my first decade of working. Although I made mistakes, they were all worth it to help me learn how to handle and react in certain situations.

I’m about to start a new phase of my life with balancing a career and a baby! I’m nervous about it and have no idea how I will go with it all but I will share my experience in the hope it will help others going through something similar.

I hope this space motivates you and reassures you no matter what you are currently experiencing in your career.

Thank you for joining me on this journey! I can’t wait to see what comes next!

I wish you a happy and successful career

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