The world of comparison or being a ‘sticky beak’ into what is going on in someone else’s life is a waste of time if you are using it to make yourself feel down.
I annoyingly find I do this when something in my career isn’t quite the way I want it to be at that moment in time. I start comparing myself to others my age and where they might be, what project they are working on, what roles they are moving into, their past experience, the list could really be endless!
And it can become quite the downwards spiral if I let it! So I don’t.
These are the things that help me mind my own business when times get a little down:
- Doing something else that helps upgrade my skills – I have started to engage with others in my industry and have begun using my network to start working for myself. Its scary but very satisfying. It is something I am doing on my own with my own terms and the only people I have available to compare myself are to the ones I look up to so I can see how I too can be successful in my new venture.
- Having patience – putting things into perspective, understanding where I am at a particular point in my career and re-evaluating where I want to be are the first steps in this point. I then recognise that it can’t instantly happen e.g. I can’t magically understand and be a master in a new project management methodology within the next week no matter how much I want it! It will take time and of course effort to make it happen.
- Take action and then take some time off – however long you are able to take off, even if its just a day, take it. With that time off, use it to do something to take you a step closer to what it is you want to be doing and where you want to be. Reach out to a mentor and meet them for a coffee, sign up to that course, launch that website, apply for another job. Whatever will make you feel like you have accomplished something with your time. Then, do something fun. I recommend something that you might not do too often. I enjoy going to symphonies at the Opera House. It reminds me that there is a much bigger world out there!
- Keep going – it’s ok to feel down for a little bit and its perfectly normal, don’t worry about that at all. Once you feel what you need to feel, pick yourself up and keep going. There will always be ups and downs so you can be guaranteed, an ‘up’ is coming around to you soon enough.
Bigger steps I have taken have included changing my job and industry altogether. For example, I was part of a cohort of about 20 graduates. We were hired for a two year program within an industry that most people continued working in for years after. It was the type of industry where many people spent their entire careers. Not that there is anything necessarily wrong with this, just in this case the culture tended to be quite toxic and not very innovative in many areas. When we came to the end of the program we all had to find jobs, presumably within the industry, on our own.
At a catchup following our graduation ceremony the week before, the first questions being asked around the table as we were sipping our drinks were about what role we had scored and what level it was at. This continued for years that followed and it was generally just annoying and a little stressful to being constantly compared to everyone else in the group. So this (but among a few other major reasons) I decided I wanted to move out of the industry. I took a risk and found somewhere else to work and I flourished in my new work world. It was fantastic.
It allowed me the freedom to not have certain people and situations around me that reminded me of where I might need to be at a particular point in my career. My mind was free to soak up my new environment and eagerly learn new things. Basically, I was allowed to mind my own business and excel!
